Feb. Update

Well... we are licensed foster parents, however we are not taking any kiddos at the moment because we are PREGNANT!   Right before we were finished, i found out I was pregnant.  I am 21 weeks.  Why did I wait so long to  announce this you ask? Because I am super duper nervous that something is going to go wrong.  I saw the specialist from 5 weeks to 12 weeks, every week.  I am on a big cocktail of meds, but went for the anatomy scan today and our little man looks fine!  Yep, another little boy!  We are excited. It has been a long road to get here, but hopefully it will pay off.

 I have been getting my cervix checked  every two weeks since I started to dilate with my son at 19 weeks.  I got a permanent abdominal cerclage after he was born.  So far my cervix is twice as long as it ever was with my previous pregnancy. Which leads me to my next news.... I had a panic attack last week.  I started thinking that I felt pressure, and just started to freak out.  I actually had to leave work and I went straight to my doctors office to get checked.  He actually gave me some anti-anxiety meds just in case I have another panic attack. It is just so weird to be up moving around, going to work, cleaning, etc. I was on bedrest from 19 weeks until 36 weeks with my son, so it is just completely different.

Big week

On Saturday my son had his 3rd birthday party, which was a great time. He had a lot of fun playing with his little friends. I can't believe he is 3 already!

On Monday we had our homevisit for our licensing.  The caseworker stayed about an hour, mostly just chatting. She said that we should have our license by the beginning of November! She is going to license us for 2, and later she can change it to more if we want.  She thought that starting off we might feel overwhelmed to get a sibling group of 3 at the beginning.  We are fine with that.  We basically said that our son's safety is our number one priority.  We have a couple more things to do, but nothing too big.

Also, We got a PUPPY! Yes, this makes dog number 3 for my house, but he is pretty cute.  This is the first puppy I have ever had, I have always gotten my dogs from the Humane Society and they have been grown. He doesn't have a name yet, but we are working on it.

 

Yeah, he's pretty cute!

october

October is going to be a busy one!  I turned in our last packet of paperwork so now I am just waiting to schedule our home visit with the caseworker.  Also, even bigger news.... I bought a MINIVAN!!!!! Yep, it's pretty cool, and I could easily fit more children : )  I painted my kitchen chairs this weekend, with the help of my 16 year old niece and my 2 year old.  My lil' man is about to turn 3, so we have been planning his party.

Yesterday I talked with a couple who adopted their son from foster care 18 years ago!  It has been really great with the amount of support we have received! It is such a different vibe than with fertility treatments.  Every one seems very comfortable asking about the process and offering support.  People at church knew about our fertility treatments, however no one ever asked about them.  It's kinda odd.

It has been awesome how I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders with stopping all IF treatments and moving on.  I was watching the show Teen Mom (don't judge), and the therapist Dr. Drew was telling one of the mom's  that you have to let go of the fairy tale dreams that you had a child and move on to what is reality.  I did not plan to have recurrent miscarriages, but I do have my son, which is still an absolute miracle.  I am really optimistic about all this.

Also, I just want to say that some of my posts seem negative, but I am in complete vent mode when I write them.  I am a really laid back person in real life, and would never say the things I say in my blog.....

whoop whoop

Just turned in my second packet of foster care paperwork.  What's next you ask?  2 home visits and then we are licensed!!! 


The hubs and I are going to move our bedroom downstairs to free up a bedroom.  For those of you who are already licensed... Should I make the second bedroom for a girl, so we have one bedroom for a boy and one for a girl?

Also, I went to a baby shower over the weekend.  I didn't hold the baby, but I felt ok throughout the whole thing.  I am proud of myself, b/c I have not been to one in about 3 years!

last resort

Ok so one of our family members have recently had a failed IVF attempt.  I was told that they are still not considering adoption and think it is an "absolute last resort" .  I will say that this was disturbing to say the least.  I hate that.  I will say, I have always known I was going to adopt.  I started babysitting in fifth grade, been a nanny to six kids, worked in daycares, and have been a social worker for about six years.  The problem with infertility is that is becomes an obsession.  Once you start treatment, it is hard to quit.  Let me say for the record, I want to have a house full of kids, not just a house of mini-me's.  My husband and I had started filling out paperwork for adoption when I found out I was pregnant with my son. Maybe I don't understand..... but I think kids are kids.  Yes, it is cool that my son looks like a cross between my brother and the hubs, but is that why I love him so much? Probably not.  I  just think that the idea of any kid playing second fiddle is unfair.  I have always thought that we would be LUCKY to adopt a child, not the child to be lucky that we graced them with an adoption. I hope I don't offend anyone.  I just don't want to stay in infertile hell, if my goal is to just love and raise a child, nor do I want to see family members so depressed I barely see them once a year. To each their own....I know that, unfortunately there is no easy road. 

Hub's surgery

So the hub's had his varicosiele surgery yesterday.  The surgery lasted an hour, and  is now recovering at home.  The urologist said that he had five varicose veins which is "above average" , he said that most of the men he sees only has about three. He said that this should not only help with the pain and discomfort but with fertility as well.  My husband is an ultra-marathon  runner and it can become painful.  The hubs has to take a week off work and has to completely stay off his feet.  This is going to be the toughest thing because he is not one to sit around the house! 

busy busy.....

So this was my third week back to work.  I love my job, I do.  I am currently at two schools, I will be there for about 3 more weeks until I switch to another two schools.  At my afternoon school, the kids were waiting during their recess time to watch me pull into the parking lot. Then they were screaming my name when I got out of the car.  They honestly look forward to seeing me,and I the same of them. This group of kids have either emotional and/or educational issues, and they are the most down to earth kids I have ever worked with!  It is great to know that if you HAVE to work, that at least you love your job. 

The soccer directer called this week, and needs more toddler soccer coaches.  When I signed my son up in the fall we were about to do IUI, so I thought I might be pregnant, so I did not volunteer to coach.  However, since I am not pregnant, I decided I would coach again. 

We have our CPR/First Aid training for our foster care license tomorrow that will last all day.  Tonight, my best friend and I are treating ourselves to the movies, which rarely happens!  And finally, on Thursday my husband is scheduled for his varicoseile surgury.  The hubs said that he could just get his dad to take him so I did not have to use one of my days off to go with him, but I would be a nervous wreck at work. 

Also, I have been contemplating finding another OB/Gyn closer to home.  Our RE is 2 hours away and I don't want anymore fertility procedures. I just feel like my current OB/Gyn has some bad juju since I have had so many miscarriages there.  Also, if I am not pregnant, I just don't want to go back in there.  I would just like to find someone for my regular women needs like pap smears, someone to prescribe my Metformin, and just regular stuff. 


It is a busy but exciting time.!!!!!