last resort

Ok so one of our family members have recently had a failed IVF attempt.  I was told that they are still not considering adoption and think it is an "absolute last resort" .  I will say that this was disturbing to say the least.  I hate that.  I will say, I have always known I was going to adopt.  I started babysitting in fifth grade, been a nanny to six kids, worked in daycares, and have been a social worker for about six years.  The problem with infertility is that is becomes an obsession.  Once you start treatment, it is hard to quit.  Let me say for the record, I want to have a house full of kids, not just a house of mini-me's.  My husband and I had started filling out paperwork for adoption when I found out I was pregnant with my son. Maybe I don't understand..... but I think kids are kids.  Yes, it is cool that my son looks like a cross between my brother and the hubs, but is that why I love him so much? Probably not.  I  just think that the idea of any kid playing second fiddle is unfair.  I have always thought that we would be LUCKY to adopt a child, not the child to be lucky that we graced them with an adoption. I hope I don't offend anyone.  I just don't want to stay in infertile hell, if my goal is to just love and raise a child, nor do I want to see family members so depressed I barely see them once a year. To each their own....I know that, unfortunately there is no easy road.