Dear ......

Dear Infertility Monster,
 I understand that we have been involved with each other for about 4 years now.  It has definitely been a rocky road full of monthly disappointments.  I feel hurt by your negative impact on my friends and family both by our relationship and their personal life as well. You have caused too many heartbreaks and tears. I would like to make our break-up official, and end our toxic relationship.  I am no longer part of your Infertility World, as I am moving on.  I am exploring other options at this time. I would like to say that I am stronger than ever and despite our long-term relationship I would like to completely sever all contact. I am washing my hands of you.  I will leave your belongings ie: hpts, Basel thermometer, and temp chart in a box outside.
 Sincerely,
Stacy

happy ending

Well, we have another foster parent training tomorrow morning.  It is our 3rd, we completed the second one online. 

Also this week, my husband scheduled his variociele surgery, so now we just have to see if our insurance approves it so we can proceed with the surgery. Remember, this surgery CAN/MIGHT improve the quality of my husband's sperm.  It has about a 60 percent success of working.  However, he will not be able to do it unless our insurance covers it. This is our LAST try with any kind of procedures for conception.  My reasoning for this is that we have son with no artificial means, so it can happen.

I hope that we do have a happy ending.  Whether  it be another biological child, an adopted child, or a sibling group..... I am not saying that no more kids will be an unhappy ending, but  I think I will feel incomplete, if that makes sense.

What I have been up to....

The Hubs and I have started foster parenting training.  We completed a ton of paperwork, got our fingerprints done.  I am awaiting my second big packet of paperwork.  Hopefully in the next month or two we will be certified and get a kid/many kids.  I am keeping an open mind and I know that this will be difficult, especially if/when the kid/s go home. However, the state we live in does 50 thousand to 100 thousand foster care adoptions a year and I am hopeful that we can be part of those numbers!  It really feels like the right thing to do, it is hard to explain.