Ok, so I am kinda feeling like myself since starting BCP. I don't feel so moody like I did while taking the fertility drugs. I had a dream a couple nights ago that my husband and I were in court fighting with a bio mom to win custody of her child that were fostering. In my dream I was desperate, and I told my attorney that I would fight forever to get my child back. Needless to say, in my dream I felt the same sense of grief and loneliness that I did after my miscarriages. I don't think we are strong enough to be foster parents right now.
Next realization, yesterday, I recieved an email from an adoption agency about a new country for adoption. I mentioned it to the hubs and he thought it sounded cool. So I clicked on the fees tab, $29,000 without the cost of airfare and hotel fees. Ouch. Would LOVE to adopt,but unfortunately that is not realistic right now. However, if any of you would happen to come across a large sum of money, keep me in mind!
Lastly, we are planning to try IUI one last time. I hate the feeling that I already think it will not work. So, if it doesn't work what will we do? Well I think my husband is going to get varicocele surgery and then we will have to wait like 3-6 months to see any results. I think that is our next option. And after the surgery we can try with something like Femara for a few months and then reevaluate our options. I think we have agreed that we will do IVF if all else fails. I really think we will have another child but I think it is going to test every bit of patience I have ever had!
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